New Year.

Start as you mean to go on.

First day of 2012: music, clapping, crawling & squealing with delight with Frankie, food & fun with good friends. Taking out the garbage/recycling when it is full instead of trying to smush one. more. thing. into it. Picking up old projects & breathing new life into them. Spending time with my guy (even though he didn't even know I was there). Seems like every year since 2007, I've said 'Lets hope next year is better/our year!' Well, I am done with saying that because it never seems to really happen. Instead, I'm going into 2012 with some key goals:


Keep it Simple.
Keep it Sincere.
Keep it Tidy.


I rang in the new year alone. I had a couple different offers, but I wanted to be by myself. Frankie proved to be a lightweight & was passed out fast asleep by 6:15. My best pals came over for a bit before heading to our friend's party & then I spent the night knitting & watching Electric Circus (augh!). I had other plans for the night that never materialized: make room in our 'studio' for a guest bed, purge some yarn & fabric from my stash, cut my hair, have a drink & give myself some bangs... but the night got eaten up quickly & it turned out my suspicions about New Years Eve have been right all along - it's just another night. You don't cease to exist if you (gasp!) don't *do* anything!


I called Gord's room at 11:55 so I could hear his voice & wish him a Happy New Year. His friend Matt was there, which comforted me a lot (thank you, Matt!). The days since I wrote about his good days have been more of the same. Still extremely tired, but at least now able to listen in on conversations & offer the odd comment... or smile... or eye roll. So at 12 o'clock he was there, in my ear & in my heart, wishing me a Happy New Year. "This has been one crazy year, Nicky." "Yeah, lets make this one a little more mellow."