Tuesday, November 22, 2011

clerical error.

Last November I was about 4 months pregnant. One night I got a call from my Dr's office - my screening tests came back as 'positive negative' which meant that the baby had a higher risk of being born with an 'abnormality'. I was already scheduled for my 20 week ultrasound the next week & they arranged to have us meet with a genetic councilor at that time. The 4 days between that phone call & the ultrasound were tough. Gord & I had long conversations about what we'd do. Our answer was of course that we'd love that baby like crazy regardless. I was so proud of us & how we handled everything. I was upset only by the thought of our baby possibly having to suffer - and when I cried, Gord held me close. I thanked him so much for being my partner & I'll never forget what he said to me: "3 years ago I was falling, and you held me up. Now's my chance to do it for you."

The day of the scan I was a bundle of nerves - the tech never once turned the screen towards me, but Gord watched our little nubbin swim around. I made him re-enact her (!!!we found out it was a girl!!) movements for me several times for days afterwards. "Show me how her arms were moving!" and he'd flail them up above his head.

When the scan was finished & we were waiting to be seen by the genetic councilor, the ultrasound tech came out & asked if what was written on my forms was my correct weight: 110lbs. "Yes, that's my weight -- in KILOS" I said. "Well now, this is going to change things!" and she marched away. (1 kilo = 2.2lbs... you see where they went wrong there?)

Change things it did - it made my ratio go from something like 1:42 to 1:2000. In other words, the chances of our baby being born anything other than perfect were very, very slim.

It was a clerical error. Just like that. All of our worries got eaten by the universe never to be worried about again and 4 months later perfect little Frances made her big debut.

I've been thinking a lot about that this past week - and about how I really wish this was all a clerical error & someone would apologize for putting us through all of this worry for nothing & we're free to go on our way....happily ever after


  1. Hi Nicole,
    I received a link to your blog from Leslie H. She and I became friends while her daughter and my husband received treatment at PMH. My husband was diagnosed with Ph+ALL in December 2008. He was 40. Due to a poor prognosis, he was referred to transplant immediately. He started on the ALL chemo protocol and received his unrelated transplant September 10, 2009. I met Gord a couple of times at PMH, however I don't believe that you and I ever met. Bill had a really rough time, but is alive today to tell his story! I would love to chat with you via e-mail or phone if you feel like you need some support from someone who has "been there, done that". Please feel free to connect with me at beckie74@hotmail.com. Hang in there!

  2. Hey Nicole - please tell Gord is in my thoughts! You guys are soooo strong! Frankie is absolutely adorable by the way!


  3. Oh God... I'm *sort of* laughing?... that would be awful/amazing. "Sorry, guys, our mistake, as it turns out Gord doesn't have cancer after all. Sorry about the last few years."