Monday, January 9, 2012

sliding.

I'm at home, Gord's mom just called from the hospital.

He's not responding to the treatment. They have him on 'Do Not Resuscitate' if things go that way. The other day I found his living will & in it he states he would rather go quickly than have everyone suffer through waiting for 'miracles that never happen.'

His nurse suggested bringing Frankie in to see him.

Thinking now of all those consent forms saying we understood perfectly well what could happen, we smugly signed them, fully believing in our hearts that this was The Answer. This would give us what we wanted - a long(er) life with each other & with our baby.

So now I'm waiting for my parents to get back here, so I can be with him, take our beautiful girl to see her daddy.

There is no timeline on any of this, only a definite end.

Didn't know I could feel so broken.

24 comments:

  1. Nicole,

    Thinking of you. I can not imagine how you must feel. Our hearts are with you.

    Daryl

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  2. I'm so sorry, Nicole.
    Daryl has said everything I can think of to say.

    Matt

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  3. I am so sorry to read this, so. I'm praying for a miracle for your family. You 3 are in my thoughts non stop
    love,
    Nicole

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  4. Nicole..
    this is heartbreaking...
    you are in our thoughts...please give Gord our love..
    Anita & David

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  5. sending my love your way, i know there is no words to make anything better. you guys are in my thoughts.

    Holly

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  6. Nicole......you are in my thoughts. You are a strong person. I'm sorry you are going this.

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  7. My heart is breaking along with yours Nicole. You and Gord and Frankie are in my thoughts and prayers every single day.
    I'm so sorry to hear of this latest news.
    Jan

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  8. I'm so sorry. The three of you are in my thoughts.

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  9. Praying for a miracle here too.....just one. Please.

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  10. Kevin O'GormanJanuary 9, 2012 at 2:54 PM

    Everyone here on the 9th floor is thinking of you all.

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  11. we're thinking of u guys, every stitch of our love is being sent your way
    m&m,ryan&paige

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  12. Sending all of our love and strength your way as we pray for a miracle. Deeply touched by your strength and love through all of this.

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  13. Please know you, Gord and Frankie are in our thoughts - we love you!
    Love
    Cousin Kimmy, Mario and Anthony
    Xoxoxo

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  14. Gord will live forever in Frankie.

    Greg

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  15. Hey Nicki

    To be honest, I haven't been following your blog(s) too closely because I was always afraid of what I'd feel when reading it all or how emotional I'd get, since you Gord and Frankie are such close family. I love you guys a lot, and I just want you to know that I'm always thinking of you guys. Much love always
    Cousin Michael :)

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  16. Just letting you know we are all thinking of you, Gord and Frankie, you are never out of our thoughts. Sending hugs, kisses and much love you way!
    Love Jim, Chris, Aaron and Vanessa

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  17. Sending you much love and we're praying with everyone for Gord, you and Frankie. Our hearts are with you Nicole,
    Love Gayle B

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  18. I really don't know what to say. I am holding you tight.
    Sara

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  19. You, Gord and Frankie are in my thoughts!!! Big hugs and kisses!! Love (cousin) Nette and family

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  20. Lots of love and good thoughts from me. -Liat

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  21. Thinking of all of you.

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  22. Thinking of you. Leave a tiny spot for a miracle.
    Sv

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